Just thoughts

Back in Singapore again. Sigh. Don't get me wrong, I am a loyal Singapore citizen who loves my country a lot, but I do enjoy the fun and excitement of travelling overseas. I enjoy learning new culture, meeting new people and mostly importantly, exploring the world with my hubby. Planning where to go for next holiday liao. =)

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Saw one of my ex-pupils on Channel U last night. Nearly fell off my sofa! She has signed herself up for Campus Superstar 3 and has managed to "fight" her way thru to the 3rd round. Good for her. Taught her for a few years. Remembered that she loves to sing a lot. Shocked to see how much she has changed though. She was a very sweet, innocent girl. Now, she is a bit too "wild". Oversized sch uniform, torned socks and messy long hair, with make up on. Sigh. Hope she will change her image. People usually vote for those who looks wholesome, take a look at the past winners, both were decent-looking teenagers.

Hubby

Whenever I am down, I can also count on my close ones to cheer me up. My hubby is one of them. When I get to cocky, he is the one that will drag me back to earth. When I feel down, he will cheer me up. When I can feel angry and frustrated, he is the one that can calm me down. He puts up with my tantrums, with my outbursts, and sometimes eccentric behaviours. I am grateful and thankful for that.

Fair

吃饭时，跟老公“汇报”学校发生了什么事。真为一位同事感到不值，随口说了一句“ Not fair lo”。老公看我越说越激动，便对我说了一句“the fact that you are sitting down here, having dinner with me, is something that is unfair. Some people are born without hands and legs, some do not have enough food to eat or a roof over their heads. Some are not even aware of their own existence. "Fairness" do not exist at all. Accept this fact or you will be miserable."......

虽然我同意他的说法，但是我还是认为，有一些事是人为的，必须靠自己去争取。我认为一个人的命运是掌握在自己的手里的。我不喜欢向命运低头。

people......

The world is filled with all kinds of people.
Some people received high pay but have a mindset of a factory worker.
Some slogged away their youth but get peanuts for their pay.
Some have a heck care attiude but likes to complaint that others are not doing a good job.
Some can't be bothered and expect others to behave like them......

As for me, I do what I can do, and in return, I hope to get (or fight to get) what I deserve.

PSLE Marking days......

I always enjoy PSLE marking days. It's the time of the year whereby I can mingle with old friends and catch up with the latest gossip in other schools. (^-^) For the past two years, I am lucky enough to be in the company of fun-loving people, and I thanked god for that. Can't imagine going thru marking days without such "nice nice" people. Those who know me well would know that I can get really excited at times and forget about my age and "image". That was what happened this afternoon. One of my sch colleagues said that I looked happier during marking days and even called me " Xiao gin na" (hokkien for "crazy kid"). I was quite offended by the nickname, think it was rather rude of them to do so. What's wrong with smiling happily? But can't be bothered to "retaliate".

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Noticed a few teachers wearing super short skirts, all-dressed up as if they are going to the party. A few with dyed hair that are very obvious. Saw one wearing a pair of jeans so low that when she sat down, I can see half of butt and her 股沟......
I believe in the need to uphold certain level of professional image. All these teachers, they can wear what they like outside working hours, that is their freedom. However, when they turn up for work-related events, they should wear appropriately. Have you ever see a doctor in mini skirt? Or an engineer who turns up wearing high heels, short frocks or dresses? Common sense would tell us that we should not, and should dressed according to the function and occasion. A friend revealed that when her daughter was in pri 4, every day, she would tell my friend what was the colour of the under garments of her English teacher. As a result, my friend called up the school and spoke to the principal regarding the teacher's dress code.

Gokusen Theme Song

Seigi no Mikata Theme Song

教书

教师的工作很琐碎。 我们不只是得教书，也得策划课外活动等等。也就因为这样，常会听见一些牢骚。多数时候，我会坐在那儿静静地听。对于这一切，我已经习以为常。我心想：我们的薪水都是纳税人的血汗钱，如果薪水高，当然得做多一点咯，责任重一点，不是吗？在私人企业里不也是这样吗？一些对外人来说是浪费时间的活动，其实对孩子们来说是“有用”的。例如，一些课外活动可以培养他们的团队精神，培养孩子们的耐力、体力， 价值观等。到学校来不只是吸收知识，更重要的是学会如何与人沟通，如何与他人相处。 为了达到这些目的，教师的工作当然也不限于教书、批改作业等等。

My favorite Teachers' Day present

Received a handmade card from one of my P6 girls. Quite plain, nothing fanciful but it is my favorite present for this year. What she wrote inside warmed my heart。

“一路上有您的教导，我才没有迷失方向。您教了我很多，什么是对，什么是错。谢谢您，老师！”


那孩子很懂事，上课时很专心，很积极。她送我礼物时，还提醒我一定要记得看卡片。 虽然只是短短的几句话，但是我觉得这份礼物比什么都来得珍贵。

Incentives

The government has came up with a lot of new added incentives to encourage marriage couples to have babies. I belong to that group of people that needed the "persuasion". However, if you ask me if I would consider having a baby because of all these added incentives, my answer is no. I believe in fate and I will let nature takes its course. I would make any extra efforts or go through all kinds of troubles to have a baby just because of those added bonuses. I leave everything to god. What will be will be, having a baby will be good, but that does not mean I am worse off just because I do not have one.

MP block visit

National Day is round the corner. Every year, at around this time, we will get to see our MP's face - MP will visit us. Before each visit, the floors will be washed clean, the plants pruned and vandalised tables will be repainted. But if I ever have a chance to talk to him, I will say, " Please visit us more often." The reason is very simple. If he visits us more often, our estate will always be littered free and be in tip-top condition.

Jap influence

When I was a teenager, I loved to watch Japanese dramas and listen to Japanese songs. In fact, till now, I still enjoy watching Japanese dramas. I am greatly influenced by this sub-culture. That explains why I love to visit Japan and had learned their language when I was younger. Must e getting old. Love to think of the past these days.... Below are some of the songs that I loved to listen. By the way, Onizuka is my favorite character! Guess he was the one that inspired me to be a teacher!

RHD

Today is Racial Harmony Day. A long day for me but I am happy. Cos I am doing something I strongly believe in. All the coordinating and organizing energized me. After all the excitement, its back to marking books. (^-^)

Our loved ones......

My father-in-law was hospitalised suddenly yesterday. We were told by the docs that his intestines might have ruptured and what is the worst scenario we could expect. A surgery was inevitable. Like all surgeries, it has its risks...... We were worried sick, but there was nothing much we could do except to pray and hope for the best. Luckily, the operation was a success and hopefully my father-in-law could recover without any complications.

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While in the hospital this afternoon, I received a shocking news from my colleague. One of my ex-pupils' mother had passed away yesterday. She had three wonderful girls. I have the privilege to teach two of the girls and though the youngest one was not taught by me, I know her quite well too, as she loves to tag along with her two older siblings when they came to my house. Nancy(the parent) was one of the nicest parents whom I have met. Beautiful lady with great love for her family. She listened to teachers' opinions and really cared about her children's studies as well as well-being......

I rushed down from SGH upon hearing the news. I know the family quite well and would like to pay my last respect to her. I was afraid that I might break down in front of the girls. I did not know what to say, for I know whatever I said could not make up for the sudden lost. I wanted to hug the youngest girl, she looked okay and was strong for her age. However, I am afraid that might trigger off an avalanche of emotions......

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When I was 13, my grandmother fell and hurt herself while she was having a shower. Nobody knew about this until hours later when she did not turn up for dinner at my house. She was hospitalised and within two days she passed away. She was closest to me and doted on me. But I was not there when she left. I was in school. Nobody told me about her death until she was all sealed up in the coffin. I did not have a chance to say goodbye. I remembered clearly the "numbness" I felt. Everything seemed so unreal. I looked brave in front of others for I believed that was what my grandma would want me to be - brave, but at night when everyone fell asleep, I would cried myself to sleep.

After the funeral, when everything settled down, I felt as if a big part of me was gone. The smiling face that used to greet me when I woke up was no longer there. The hot coffee that greeted me every morning was no longer the same(since then I do not drink coffee anymore).I could not forgive myself. I blamed myself for not spending more time with my grandma. Everyday, I sang the song "The end of the world" again and again. To me, it really felt like the end of the world then. The song somehow made me feel better. It was a way for me to say "Ah ma, I really missed you, I am sorry for not being there when you needed me" without making my parents worried about me. It took me quite a number of years to get over the sudden lost of my grandma.

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I wanted to tell Nancy's girls (if you ever read this), cry if you must, tears are okay. It is not something you should feel ashamed about. It is okay to be sad, to mourn the death of your loved one. Do not bottled up your feelings. Although your mummy is no longer around physically, the love and memories she had created are still here. Remember her teachings, remember her ways, let her continue to live in your heart. In that way, she will always be around. And remember, you would never be alone......

眼睛

一位好久不见的老同学写了这首诗：

眼睛，黑白分明。
告诉我们，
黑白，要分得清。

好话、坏话

谎话，我不会说。好听的话，我不会说。我自小性格直率，想什么说什么。妈妈经常说我有时说话没有经过大脑，该说的说，不该说的也照说。
踏入社会后，我这“优点”成了我的绊脚石。我不会“做人”，不会说奉承的话，有时更掩盖不了自己的情绪。就因为如此，我不时在不知不觉中得罪了人也不晓得。虽然说几句“好听”的话，我的“路”会更平坦，更“光明”，但是我却坚持自己的信念。对就是对，错就是错，好就是好，不好就是不好，何必睁着眼睛说瞎话呢！至于得罪别人，我一向不怎么在乎这一点。 要小心翼翼才能维持的关系 —— 我不需要。

Turkey - jewel of the Asian and European Continent.

I have never been to Turkey before and before this trip, I do not know much about this country except that Turkey tried hard to get into EU but was rejected (I read this somewhere). After going there, I am glad I chose Turkey as my holiday destination.
Turkey has a bit of almost everything. Turkey is rich in its history and culture. It has a unique blend of eastern and western culture. It is a Muslim country but it is not ruled by Muslim law. It has mosques that are more than thousand years old, ruins from the Greek as well as churches, caves and underground city that was bulit way before Christ. Mesmerizing, is the one word that can describe Turkey. The standard of living there is almost the same as in Singapore, but the salary which the people are getting can be quite miserable. The pay of a teacher is around 1000YTL ( around $1000 ) and an engineer is 1500YTL. The locals are extremely friendly, especially the children. They are always eager to help and happy to chat. Although most of their time, we have to guess what they are trying to say, we can sensed that sincerity and friendship. These are the people who are poor in the pockets but rich in the hearts......

I am back!!!

I am back from Turkey! Will upload pics and tell more later on. As for now, I just wanted to have a good night sleep......

The courage to make a difference

"I was forced to do this....... I do not have a choice." This is an excuse commonly used by many. Heard someone said this this morning. I tried not to say this sentence. In fact, I do not allow myself to have this kind of attitude or thoughts.

I believe everyone has a choice, its whether you have the COURAGE to make the decision, whether you are willing to take the risk, whether you can accept the negative outcome of your decision. Do not blame others for the plight/situation which you are in. If you can't make a difference to your life, who can?

Exercise

Yippie!!!!! Holiday is here!!! \(^0^)/ I am going to Turkey soon. But first of all, need to attend a week of meetings and courses......

I had a great time yesterday. Tried Archery and Tchouball. Fun Fun Fun. However, realised I really need to do something about my weight. Felt so heavy when I move about!! Really want to take up sports again. For the sake of my health. However, most of my close friends or colleages don't seem so keen. Think I need to look into other "sources" - eg my ex-pupils! (^-^) So if anyone of u is interested and would want to play badminton with your "old" teacher here, please contact me. Will see if we can use the school hall on Sat morning.

我真的受伤了

觉得这首歌好好听。

缅怀往事

Another one of my favourite singers - Aaron Kwok. I remembered I was only 17 when he first started out. Time really flies. I have grown and aged... but he still looks the same, even better .

Wonderful memories

Came across this song in the youtube. It was one of my favourite songs when I was still schooling. Brought back wonderful memories......

Fragmented

For some reasons, I am unable to sleep well at night. Doctors call it "fragmented sleep". I am tired and I fall asleep easily. But I would wake up in the middle of the night and would have trouble falling sound asleep again. I wish I knew what is the reason behind this. Stress? Maybe. My "Fragmented sleep pattern" only occurs during weekdays, when I need to wake up early to go to school. During the weekends, I usually do not have such problems.

Complaints......

A friend, who is teaching in an all girls'school in the north, took a few days off to study for her uni exams. She got a shock when she went back to school. Apparently, one of the parents had filed a complaint against her - why must she go on leave during this crucial week when the pupils were having their exams?

I nearly fell off my chair when I heard this. How selfish can one get? I do not think an hour of revision will make much differences to that child. Miracles do not happen overnight. Sigh......真是一种米养百种人！

Free apples at NTUC??!!

Saw a foreign Chinese woman with her young child at the NTUC supermarket today. Was appalled by what I saw. That woman picked an apple from the display and passed it to her child. Her young girl then started to eat the apple as if there is nothing wrong with that!!!! I was staring at them but that woman seemed oblivious to my stares. I wonder whether they would pay for the apple. I guess not. Oh my god! Can't stand such people. Wished I had took a picture of them!!

Simple life

Doing housework is something not many people enjoy. When I just got married, I did not enjoy doing household chores but as time passed by, I have learnt to accept that is part and parcel of marriage life and have even find some joy doing them. I love the touch of a clean floor, love to see the dust-free tables, chairs and shelves, love the perspiration that tickles down my face and back while I mop the floor. Simple things, simple joys. Seem to have therapeutic efforts on me. A simple home cooked meal with hubby - priceless. I am ready to face the challenges of tomorrow......


Salmon fillet with rosemary and black pepper, spaghetti, potato salad and cherry tomatoes

无奈

A few incidents happened during the past few days. However, I won't be elaborating on that. My observations and experiences in the past few days could be summed up into two phrases.

"Bullshit will get your way through" - literally "靠一张嘴吃饭"！

"Don't do the right things, just do the things right!" ......

It seems that lots of people are "practising" the above "idealogies". 悲哀。。。。。。

做多错多？

有人曾经跟我说过：“说多，错多。所以应该少说为妙！”

今天在学校里，发生了一些事，给我自己带来了一些不必要的“惊吓”。 因此一位同事就对我说：“做多错多，做好该做的就够了！不必多做，免得惹麻烦！”

忙与盲

很多都市人都很忙，忙着工作、忙着讨生活。我也不例外。我常常问自己为什么这么忙，到底为了什么而忙。我不希望变成像一些我所认识的人一样，为了什么而忙都不知道。他们已经“盲”了。他们已经忘记了自己的梦想、忘记自己为什么而活，整天只为钱钱钱。我不希望在都市的大染缸里迷失了自己。

Tired

Today, I met my ex-pupil Amanda. She mentioned that I looked tired and asked me if I am feeling stressed out again.

She was right. I am tired. Imagine working from 7am to 5 pm, how can anyone not be tired? In addition, when I reached home, I still have to do some household chores and plan for tomorrow's lesson. It is tiring to be a Chinese teacher nowadays. You have to work doubly hard, and you might not be "rewarded" for all your efforts.

Yes, I am tired. Can bearly keep my eyes opened when my dad drove me home just now. I must be really exhausted.

Recognition

All of us likes to be appreciated for what we have done. March is always a "stressful" time for teachers. This is when we know how much our hard work has been appreciated.

Since young, I was told by my elders that if you work hard, your work will eventually be appreciated. I always think so and firmly believed in " you reap what you sow'. That was in the past. I still believe that if you want something, you have to work hard for it, but at times, no matter how hard you worked, it is still useless. Reality do not work in that way. The truth hurts. I do not mind if the recognition goes to someone whom I think deserved it. But at times, rewards and recognitions go to a few whom I think do not deserve it. That is when I feel injustice have been done......

Sick again

I am sick again!!! This time round, it is more serious than the last one. For one whole day yesterday, I was sleeping and did not have anything for one whole day, except a few sip of porridge!!
Not sure wheher I will be well enough to go school on Monday. The fever seems to come and go. Still very weak. I still croak when I speak. =(

Doraemon

Never know there are mini-doraemons. When I was young, I like to watch doraemon but I always think 大雄(Nobita) is a wimp. So thinks so.

Taiwan

Went to Taiwan with my parents and my hubby during the one week break. Had a fantastic time there. Love the food and people there. Super friendly. Hmmmm....Maybe should retire there.....

No, I do not regret anything

Years ago, I heard of this name - Edith Piaf. At that time, I knew that she was a famous french singer, and that was it. Really love her song " Life in Pink" ( La Vie En Rose ). However, I never bother to find out more. Managed to remember her name because it was so special and simple - piaf, which means "sparrow" in french.

Recently, I manged to catch the movie "La Vie En Rose " which is a biography of Edith. Only then I know how great a singer she was, how she had embraced life and how tough her life was. Feel in love with this song - Non, je ne regrette rien which means " No, I do not regret anything". She was singing about herself and her life. Tough as it was, she struggled to survive and to live. Fantastique!

Memory

I must be getting old. There are certain things I really can't remember. For example, I rented a DVD today. Passed a ten dollar note to the cashier, by right, he should return me a five dollar change but he did not. The terrible part is that it took me around ten mins to recall the whole incident. By the time I remember, I was on the shutter bus on my way home. This afternoon, my collaegue wanted me to return her a book which I have borrowed. The thing is I could not remember this incident. I remembered asking her to bring the book, but I could not recall anything else besides that. I don't remember ever touching the book. Sigh.

My hubby said that I have selective memory. I choose to remember certain things and for the rest, I just chunk them aside. Well, there is some truth in what he said. Working non-stop has made me very tired. As time passes by, there are a lot of things which I choose not to remember. Limited "space" in my brain. Do not wish to tire myself out.

我不想懂得

女人就是女人。不管多大年纪，还是会喜欢一首好的抒情歌曲，一个浪漫的爱情故事......

Recent Buzz

Edison Chen and the erotic photos of his companions has been the talk of the town since late Jan when the photos were first released on the internet. As I am not a fan of his, neither am I a fan of his various female companions, I could not be bothered to find out what the buzz was all about.

The news did not capture my attention until recently when my colleagues were talking about it. They were saying that Edison is a pervert and the acts were disgusting and immorale. Blah blah blah......

I have not seen any of the pictures (not even the ones on local newspapers), neither do I know anyone of them personally, so I am not going to judge their characters and moral values based on what others and the media has said. To me, they were the victims. Yes, maybe that Edison guy has weird sexual inclinations, however, that is his personal life. Who are we to judge and to intefere? I think the only immorale people in this whole incident are the ones that upload the pictures on the internet. They have invaded into other people's privacy. The people who are supposed to fix the laptop have no rights to post the photos on the net. However, little is said about them. They were not the ones being condemned by the public. Well, what can I say, except that we live in a strange world.

生きること

”後悔するのは悪いことじゃない。でも，明日は後悔しないよういに，今日を生きていきたい。”

后悔不是一件坏事。但是为了让明天没有任何“后悔”，我会好好地过今天。

Thank you Mum.

"You Raise Me Up"

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

Facebook and Friends

Facebook is the latest craze. Everyone seems to have one. I have one too. (^-^)

Recently, I received two invitations to join Facebook - one of them from my hubby's ex-colleague and the other one from a pupil's father. I rejected both invitations. I am not sure how others define "friends" but to me, a friend is someone whom you can talk to, who have some common interest with me. I need not see them everyday, neither do I have to communicate with them everyday. But when we meet, things would just fall in places and we would know where to continue our conversation without any awkwardness. People and colleagues that I meet everyday, might not necessary be my friend. We might talk about work but other than that, if I know nothing else personal about that person, that is not my friend. My hubby's ex-colleague only met me twice. We did not even talk to each other, except say "hi" and shook hands. That is definately not my friend. The parent e-mails me frequently about his child. That's it. That is certainly not my friend. I suspect the reason why they invited me is just to increase the number of "friends" they have. Some have over 100 and 200 of friends. I always wonder are those numbers for real? Are those truly friends or merely acquaintances?

Sick......

I am sick and am supposed to rest at home now, but my mind is telling me to work, work and work!! My mind simply can't rest. In the end, I have no choice but to start some physical "exercise". I took out a cloth and started to wipe. That works! For around half and hr, it took my mind of work, and mentally I managed to have a rest. However, after that "work-out session", my whole body aches even worse now...... Sigh -_-;;

Just thoughts

"the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die." by Edward Kennedy

Feel foreign in my homeland

I wondered if anyone out there ever feels this way - as if you are foreigner in your own country.

I went to my chiropractor today. She is an American. After the session, I went to buy a packet of Cha Siew Rice. The female stall assistant who took my orders was from China (judging from her accent). I am OK with her till she did not return my change of 30 cents. I told her politely that I have given her a 50 cent coin and she was supposed to give me a change. To my surprise, she argued loudly and insisted that I have given her a 20cent coin and no change is required. I am sure that I had given her a 50cent coin as I have tried to search for a 20cent and there was none. As I did not wish to make a scene over 30 cents, I left swearing under my breathe that I would never patron that stall again as long as that woman is there.

Went for my facial in the afternoon and realised that my beautician was, in fact, from Ipoh , Malaysia. Another foreigner. Took the LRT home and it was filled was Mainland Chinese, Filipinos and a Caucasian.

Nowadays, I feel foreign in my own country. I miss the times when foreigners could only be found in city areas; when the residents in my neighbourhood were mainly Singaporeans; when the stall assistants were mainly local aunties and uncles. I miss those days. I love my homeland dearly, but as more and more foreigners join us, I can't help but feel foreign in my homeland. Ten years down the road, would I still be able to "recognise" this homeland? Would I still feel at home here?

未来になる

做决定之前

真希望有一些人在作出某一种决定时，能先想一想，到底自己的决定会不会影响到别人？那一个人到底会觉得如何？ 愿不愿意接受这样的决定？ 那一个决定对这个人公平吗？

原来一本正经，满口仁义道德的人也不过如此。

THANK YOU

Need to say a big thank you to my ex-pupil - AMANDA.

Was feeling rather down yesterday. Her smses managed to cheer me up. I was never her MT teacher. Gave her tuition for 3 years. She always managed to lighten the atmosphere and brighten my day. She used to say that my classes were fun. However, she never realised that the lessons were fun cos SHE WAS THERE. It takes both hands to clap. If the pupil is unappreciative, no matter how hard the teacher tries, the lesson will never be fun.

She is in Sec 3 now. Must be really busy. However, she still manage to squeeze in sometime to sms her "old" teacher. 试问一个老师的教学生涯中,有多少个学生会这么做。Not many I guess.

So to Amanda and a few others : Thank you for your support all these years. I might have given up a few years ago if not for you people.


ps. sounds like 红星大奖的谢词。哈哈哈! a little mushy, but they are from the bottom of my heart le. (^-^)

Exhausted

I feel so exhausted after two days in school. I missed pupils from last year, especially my P6 class. Sigh. Have so many thoughts in my mind, wanted to write down everyting, but now, I could not organised my thoughts, could not put them into words.